vetlongwalks home & pf

OK. i've been out of the blogosphere for a time now. it's probably because in the past few months, i convinced myself that constantly being online isn't doing me any good except make an already stressful life more stressful. plus i convinced myself that nobody could give a rat's ass about what's going on with myself. oh, i'm still convinced that nobody gives a rat's ass. but i'm back for the sole purpose of letting off steam, hehe... NO, i'm not full of anger. the reason i'm back [or is trying to..] is because i'm so full of myself now. i want to tell the world how unexciting my life is at the moment. OK, i'm making up excuses. i don't have an iota idea of why i'm back. i probably just want to pound on the keyboard and hope that some sense will come out of this. ok, i'm not really making any sense right now. here's hoping a good week ahead. p.s. i thank the universe that i only have simple endometrial hyperplasia without a...

i've heard of a lot of people not wanting to grow old. it's like old age is the end of the world. true at some point old age will take you to your end, eventually. all of us are bound to die at some point. it's just interesting to note that i don't dread growing old. a friend succinctly used the word "entitled" when asked how she felt reaching the big THREE ZERO. yes, yes, being 30 doesn't equate to being old. OLD is when you reach 60 and get yourself a senior citizen's card {haha}. anyhow, "entitled" is a good enough word to describe my own feelings of reaching three decades on earth. she was right when she said that at this age, we're no longer too young to be considered naive nor too old to have gone past our prime. [i maybe getting this wrong, forgot her exact words] if there's one thing that crosses my mind when talking about getting old, it's "why the heck confidence comes much, much later?" i don't know but to...

last weekend, i saw the beach for the first time this year. i went with some friends from the office on a road trip. one of our stops was bantayan island. i'm almost a year and three decades old, but i've never been to this famous island of my beloved cebu. a big shame really and what a big thing i've missed out. anyway, the road trip was memorable as always. what struck me most though was the simple lesson on letting go - something i learned while on the island. see, i love the beach. but i'm no swimmer. i don't even know how to float on water. the lack of swimming no-how could be attributed to not having swimming lessons while i was younger nor the daring to really learn how to swim. but the primary reason for this lack of swimming skill is the fear of the water itself. the fear that i might drown. the simple fear of the water getting in my ears. thus, every time i'm anywhere near the beach, i only contented myself to just staying and sitting at the shallow e...

i'm ecstatic. but now that i think about it, the word is inappropriate. i'm proud. that's the more apt word to describe how i'm feeling. but no, i didn't do something heroeic or anything remotely noble or grand. i'm just proud that i was able to harness my inner plumber last night [hehe, i know, i know - i'm weird]. but seriously, i managed to change my own water supply line with no help from anyone. the task sounds so daunting, but actually it's not. nevertheless i feel as if i've accomplished something really big. if you google "how to replace a toilet water supply line" you'll see how simple it really is. that's what i thought at first, too. i was so confident that i can do it on my own. but, when i was down on my knees trying to twist the angle valve and attach it to the water supply pipe, i was cursing expletives in my head. it's quite difficult because i only had about an inch or two of space to work with. i couldn't e...

a couple of weeks back, i set my eyes on cleaning my bathroom's shower head. after religiously cleaning it, i tried to attach the showerhead back onto the goose-neck shower arm. when i hand tighten it, the pipe nipple fell into pieces. great! as buying a new showerhead was not part of the month's budget, i went without a shower for a few weeks. so when i received my pay yesterday, i readily went to ace hardware at sm to buy myself a new showerhead. wow! the store carries a wide range of showerheads that are pretty neat and EXPENSIVE. as i didn't exactly know the size of my showerhead's pipe and couldn't bring myself to ask one of the store attendants, i went ahead to getting the cheapest kind they had at the store. i got the showerhead that once cost PhP174 for a discounted price of PhP 150 [start rolling your eyes, i'm weird this way]. to my mind, i'd just get the cheapest one so in the off chance that i get the fitting all wrong, then i would have wasted ...

this year, i vowed to be healthier [except for the coke habit, er, coca cola]. well, at least i try to. so in line with that goal, i readily grabbed the opportunity when my sister texted that her company is offering discounted rates for flu and pneumonia shots to their employees and family members. so early saturday morning, i headed to their office. she and my parents were there too to get the said shots. me, i opted to get both as i'm paranoid this way. the event was rather uneventful. saw garry, an old high school classmate with his wife and baby, there too. it was very interesting to see little children with their different reaction towards needles. there's one brave 4 or 5-year old girl who was really cool about the whole injection thing. whereas there was her cousin, probably two years older than her and a boy, who was wailing not to have the injections. it was a funny and endearing sight. there was also this boy whom doctors kept egging not to look at the needle during t...

the past week/month was kinda hectic. i didn't do much but it felt and seemed that way. anyhow, just to rid myself of that busy feeling - i'll just make a run through of the week/month that was: - flew to bangkok last april 13 despite having doubts and healthy degree of fear. a few days before our flight, i've read nothing but terrible news of deaths and injuries of soldiers and rally-ists alike in central bangkok. luckily, when we were there - bkk was as peaceful as peaceful could get. thus, we truly had a blast. loved, loved the thai's cultural show "siam niramit." jumped with joy when i saw the magnificent ruins in ayutthaya. was amazed at some women who showed immense vaginal muscle control at bkk's famed patpong area. got all wet and white on our last day in bkk during their songkran 'new year' festivities. - had dinner with him who will never be last april 23. as always, had fun talking about anything and everything that eventually led to hi...

it's probably not the first time that i mentioned that in the past few months, the issue of growing old alone is getting to me. it enters my mind every so often that sometimes i convince myself that it will be scary. however, i know too, that even if i end up growing old alone, i know that i can handle it and still be happy. sure, there'd be moments that the silence of my pet house will get to me. perhaps it's this knowledge that prompted me to surround myself with trinkets and gifts from very special people. these gifts remind me that i may be the only soul in my pet house, but i'm sure as hell am loved by no less than beautiful beings. well, it took me a while to provide decors to my pet house. perhaps it's why line bought me all these. i hope i have thanked you for them. if i haven't, know that i'm very grateful and you're still the most thoughtful person i've had the honor of knowing. hehe, chin's had enough of me complaining about the lack ...

in the past months, i can't stop thinking about the future. while i don't know what will become of me in the next few days, years, I know for sure that i need to save for it. unfortunately, my fate in the love department is not quite promising. so, tally is still in favor of me being sinfully single. though a bit scary, i know i can deal with being old and alone. the key to dealing with that is to have money. yep, i need to have enough [or more] to pay for my needs and i'm projecting for salary of a help. my family is very nuclear. i don't have cousins that are really, really close to me. both my sister and brother don't have relationships [that i know of]. thus, i can't see nieces or nephews in the picture as well. so it's imperative that i begin to save for my future so i will have something to help me get by when real old age and frailty come knocking at my door. now, the problems that i see in me saving for the future are these: 1) carpe diem - i've ...

it's easter sunday and what did i do? nothing special as usual. woke up past nine in the morning. ate leftover pasta with del monte's carbonara sauce while i watched a few episodes of burn notice. then the rest of the day was all housework. cleaned my pet house and finally tackled my fresh laundry. i'd say it's a big accomplishment as i'm usually lazy and i managed to iron 30+ shirts, four jeans, and a few house clothes. like i said, nothing interesting. just wanted to note it down here so i'd be reminded that i can NOW actually do household work on my own. i used to just eat, sleep, and do nothing else when i lived with my parents. now that i'm living solo, i get to do these things. although not as good as my mother, i think still deserve a pat on the back.

Four days of no work. Yay, right? Only to a certain extent yay, unfortunately! I'm really grateful for the break, but what I'm not grateful for is the time it gives me to have so much thoughts. Knowing me, having the time to think isn't really healthy for my well-being. Primarily because I have the tendency to dwell on the negative more than the positive things in life. Anyhow, just to kill the lethargic and bored feeling i'll just humor myself by listing some of the thoughts running in my head at the moment. Well, really they're my way of avoiding the month-worth of fresh laundry waiting for me to iron them. Argh, i've been putting off doing the ironing of clothes, but looks like I've to do them today as I no longer have pressed clothes to wear come Monday, or even today or tomorrow, in case I've the urge to get out of Mactan. to travel or to save unlike other people, i don't have many things that get me excited except traveling. lately, however i...

something doesn't do wonders to the brain. as i mentioned in a previous post, we moved back to our old office in lahug. in as much as i like the building better than the one in banilad, the good thing about this old-new office ends there- it being a better building. the old-new office does not give me a good feeling at all. primarily because i've a lot of wonderful memories the first time we occupied the place. each day, i can't help but think of those good memories and each day i can't help but wish for the old to be back. in the ten months that we were away, a lot of things happened. perhaps this is just a case of wanting too much of the past that can never be reclaimed. oh, really, really bad for my well-being. hopefully, i'd be able to stop myself before blurting out the many things i really want to do and make a fool of myself.

was what i had last night. see, i went home to labangon since my brother was home from diliman. anyway, as i vowed to go cheapskate in order to accommodate my travel plans, i took the jeepney to get myself back to mactan. i rode a 21B jeep from robinsons to get to hi-way mandaue. when we were somewhere in martirez in mabolo, our jeepney driver probably dozed off a bit because he was suddenly surprised to see a honda car in front of us. unable to hit the brake fast enough or avoid the car in front, it collided with a loud bang. the crashing sound was crazy. seriously, being on vehicles that got involved with crashes recently aren't doing good to my little brain. two weeks before, the cab i was in was rear-ended near uclm, just off the old mactan bridge. except for feeling a bit dazed for hitting my forehead on the windshield/dashboard, there was no permanent damage. these days, i hate taking public transportation because i'm half-convinced that i'd figure in another accident...

NOPE. I didn't have my eyebrows shaped nor did I get bangs or have my hair permed [i'm curious to have curly hair, but don't have enough guts to do so, hehe..]. my pet house did. however, this isn't a "new" makeover. when i created this blog, i intended to chronicle the things going on inside my little pet house and the thoughts that ran through my head while i'm here. but have never really been true to this blog's goal. so i'm going to remedy it starting with this little post, albeit this is late, but who's keeping tabs?? anyhow, you be the judge at my little attempt at room makeover. how do i fare? this is how my unit looked like when i first got the keys of the property this is what i changed it to.. 1) room color - i forgot the exact paint color. i picked a vibrant color as i'd be living alone. this is a happy color for me. 2) book shelf - very first piece of furniture i bought so my books will have their proper pedestal. the size was j...

the page on my screen shows an article about the history of pseudonym. on the upper right corner of the screen, there's an ad of a book. the book is entitled "look at me now." hmmm...the title gave me pause. i got distracted by it. look at me now. it got me thinking. what will people see see when they look at me? what could possibly run in other people's minds when they look at me? what do i want people to see when they look at me? as i pound on the keys of my keyboard, i'm becoming aware that my mind is empty. it doesn't have a specific picture of what it is that i want people to see when they look at me. could that non-existing picture be a problem? but a problem as regards to what? hmmm... another case of my mental wanderings... i tend to do more of this lately. i wonder why.

it amazes me how the human brain can conjure "what if" scenarios. most often, the scenarios are grim. they are so horrible that most of the time the person becomes paralyzed by fear. if the brain has this much capability to think of different scenarios, why is it that the tendency of most people is to think those which are very negative? why is it so hard to think of the positive things in the spectrum? if it's possible to believe that much negativity, how come believing in the positive with equal force takes a lot of effort?

over the past years, i've had negative thoughts about my future. the thoughts range from growing old alone, seeing him with a wife and kids, to new sickness that seems to sprout one after the after. generally, thoughts of a grim future due to my beautiful u problem. i'm not proud to have had these thoughts. but they did occur to me especially when i let my mind loose. then last feb. 10 - i attended a healing mass conducted by fr. fernando suarez. in his homily, he talked about 'perspective'. i don't know if it was coincidence or divine intervention but his talk about perspective gave me the creeps. see, i have a college friend whom i keep on advising to "get perspective" on her situation. to look at her life differently and see things in an entirely different light. then there was fr. suarez talking about 'perspective' like i said. i felt God used fr. suarez to deliver my own message of "perspective' to ME. it was as if, i needed fr. suare...

by month's end, we will be returning to our old office back in lahug. apart from i'd be spending more on fare when we return to lahug, i am really not excited about the move. foremost, i don't like the owners of the building. thankfully, i don't have to deal with them. but the ultimate reason i dread returning to the old place is because i've had good memories [also sad] back there. it was there that i learned that i could really be brave amidst possible humiliation. i learned that i could uphold the truth even if it's something that's difficult to do. from that lesson on truth and courage, i found a friend in one person. we don't have a special relationship. ours is not a relationship between couples in love. it's just different. it has no label and it doesn't have a future. yet, we're okay with it. it's in that place that i've had long talks with him. it was there that we enjoyed sharing food, good laughs, and all things connected t...

yay, valentine's day! another vday to pass without ever experiencing it. it's expected actually as i'm sinfully single even at my age of 30. haha, a part of me wishes to experience how it is to wooed on this supposed day of love. i know it'll be great to receive flowers or chocolates - haha, even if choclits trigger my migraine. [i didn't realize until now that i had it in me to actually go for the mushy stuff -- LOL!!! interesting] but it'll be a novel experience. anyhu, fact remains that the coming vday will be another ordinary day for me. perhaps, i'll be doing laundry then - haha. but universe, if you must know - it's okay if you will change things differently this year. [haha, rolling with laughter!!!] advance happy valentine's everyone!

i'd say, yesterday was a bad day for me. went to see my doc to consult a problem on involuntary urination. the consult wasn't bad. it went fine, actually. my doc is awesome in making yourself comfortable while she's poking you. i did give her a hard time though as my inexperience caused my muscles to tighten instinctively and thus, she kept urging me to relax. yoga's deep breathing did help me a little. well, after my visit to the doc, i was overwhelmed with emotion. so much overwhelmed that i couldn't control my lacrimal glands and ended up texting my usual go-to guy. as usual, he didn't fail me. anyhow, after the clinic visit i proceeded to nearby robinsons. for some reason, i couldn't control my tears and so went to the place i know that would give me comfort - BOOKSALE!!! there's something about stacks of books that gives me peace. browsing books somehow calms my erratic nerves. i ended up shelling PhP491 for all 7 finds. i didn't however get all...