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Showing posts from February, 2010

my makeover

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NOPE. I didn't have my eyebrows shaped nor did I get bangs or have my hair permed [i'm curious to have curly hair, but don't have enough guts to do so, hehe..]. my pet house did. however, this isn't a "new" makeover. when i created this blog, i intended to chronicle the things going on inside my little pet house and the thoughts that ran through my head while i'm here. but have never really been true to this blog's goal. so i'm going to remedy it starting with this little post, albeit this is late, but who's keeping tabs?? anyhow, you be the judge at my little attempt at room makeover. how do i fare? this is how my unit looked like when i first got the keys of the property this is what i changed it to.. 1) room color - i forgot the exact paint color. i picked a vibrant color as i'd be living alone. this is a happy color for me. 2) book shelf - very first piece of furniture i bought so my books will have their proper pedestal. the size was j

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the page on my screen shows an article about the history of pseudonym. on the upper right corner of the screen, there's an ad of a book. the book is entitled "look at me now." hmmm...the title gave me pause. i got distracted by it. look at me now. it got me thinking. what will people see see when they look at me? what could possibly run in other people's minds when they look at me? what do i want people to see when they look at me? as i pound on the keys of my keyboard, i'm becoming aware that my mind is empty. it doesn't have a specific picture of what it is that i want people to see when they look at me. could that non-existing picture be a problem? but a problem as regards to what? hmmm... another case of my mental wanderings... i tend to do more of this lately. i wonder why.

just wondering

it amazes me how the human brain can conjure "what if" scenarios. most often, the scenarios are grim. they are so horrible that most of the time the person becomes paralyzed by fear. if the brain has this much capability to think of different scenarios, why is it that the tendency of most people is to think those which are very negative? why is it so hard to think of the positive things in the spectrum? if it's possible to believe that much negativity, how come believing in the positive with equal force takes a lot of effort?

changing perspective

over the past years, i've had negative thoughts about my future. the thoughts range from growing old alone, seeing him with a wife and kids, to new sickness that seems to sprout one after the after. generally, thoughts of a grim future due to my beautiful u problem. i'm not proud to have had these thoughts. but they did occur to me especially when i let my mind loose. then last feb. 10 - i attended a healing mass conducted by fr. fernando suarez. in his homily, he talked about 'perspective'. i don't know if it was coincidence or divine intervention but his talk about perspective gave me the creeps. see, i have a college friend whom i keep on advising to "get perspective" on her situation. to look at her life differently and see things in an entirely different light. then there was fr. suarez talking about 'perspective' like i said. i felt God used fr. suarez to deliver my own message of "perspective' to ME. it was as if, i needed fr. suare

moving out thoughts

by month's end, we will be returning to our old office back in lahug. apart from i'd be spending more on fare when we return to lahug, i am really not excited about the move. foremost, i don't like the owners of the building. thankfully, i don't have to deal with them. but the ultimate reason i dread returning to the old place is because i've had good memories [also sad] back there. it was there that i learned that i could really be brave amidst possible humiliation. i learned that i could uphold the truth even if it's something that's difficult to do. from that lesson on truth and courage, i found a friend in one person. we don't have a special relationship. ours is not a relationship between couples in love. it's just different. it has no label and it doesn't have a future. yet, we're okay with it. it's in that place that i've had long talks with him. it was there that we enjoyed sharing food, good laughs, and all things connected t

V Day!!

yay, valentine's day! another vday to pass without ever experiencing it. it's expected actually as i'm sinfully single even at my age of 30. haha, a part of me wishes to experience how it is to wooed on this supposed day of love. i know it'll be great to receive flowers or chocolates - haha, even if choclits trigger my migraine. [i didn't realize until now that i had it in me to actually go for the mushy stuff -- LOL!!! interesting] but it'll be a novel experience. anyhu, fact remains that the coming vday will be another ordinary day for me. perhaps, i'll be doing laundry then - haha. but universe, if you must know - it's okay if you will change things differently this year. [haha, rolling with laughter!!!] advance happy valentine's everyone!